I have a friend who has a friend who is getting married. She is 24 years old. She and her finance have been dating for less than six months. But they are “madly in love” and “can’t imagine spending the rest of their lives apart”. Yes, that is exactly what was said. And that’s all I know. I will now predict the future. Read on, it’s gonna be good.

Now, some of you might be saying, “OMG, that is sooooo sweet! I just love how romantic that is!!!” If you are one of these people, stop reading this blog right now. If you continue, it will probably ruin your day. Ms. KnowItAll is about to lay some hard truth on you. It’s come-to-jesus time.

The “madly in love” sensation this young couple is experiencing is a chemical response based on their emotions for each other. Very few couples maintain this level of the chemical response throughout their relationship, and for the rest of us, it will either dissipate or disappear. The people who stay married for fifty years and are still truly happy and truly still in love are the ones who are…wait for it…incredibly compatible, well-adjusted, and who know each other very well. Heed these words: get your OWN act together and DON’T MARRY SOMEONE YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW.

If you ever wondered why the divorce rate is so very high compared to past decades, this couple is case in point. Young people decide to get married based on physical, chemical and emotional responses to their loved one. I’m not saying they don’t love each other, but I think we can all agree that there is SO much more to a marriage than love alone. And I don’t care who you are, there is NO WAY you can know everything you need to know about a person in order to decide whether to marry them in six months or less. Sorry, can’t be done. And I know there are couples who got married right away and have been married forever, but here’s the thing: THEY ARE THE EXCEPTION RATHER THAN THE RULE.

I know it sounds as though I am a marriage-hater, but I assure you that I am not.  I am just increasingly relieved that I haven’t gotten married yet, because I know that I too would be divorced now (or really unhappy and suicidal). I knew nothing about marriage when I was 24; I’ve learned most of what I know by watching my friends and family stuggle through their marriages. There are ups and downs; it’s not all Sandals commercials and wedding dresses. You have to make sure you have dealt with your crap or are at least aware of it, and you have to wait for the right person. I’m 32-years-old and I’m really, really glad that I didn’t marry some of the people I could have. I dodged some serious bullets.

This isn’t the last you’ve heard on this subject. I want to educate women about the decisions they make; understand yourself, and the world will make SO much more sense. Your decisions will become easier, stress will become less, etc. You don’t HAVE to get married, no matter what sh*t society has told (brainwashed) us to think. Be a strong, independent woman. You can’t expect to be treated with equality until you actually believe that you ARE equal, in all respects. You are not worse off if you are single in your thirties. Stop that line of thinking right now. I definitely think that the fear of being unmarried, hence being seen as defective, is why some women settle for a marriage to someone they don’t love.

Marriage is a big deal. It was once, and it should be again. There is a sanctity involved. Let’s remember that.

Take my advice: don’t rush into it. It’s too important a decision. Anyway, where’s the fire? You have the rest of your lives together to be married, right?

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